American Honey: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I sat there staring out at the dark turquoise colored sky; there were faint hints of red in the skyline, giving it an eerie glow.

I tried not to relish on the fact that I had chosen a flight that had to make stops in New Mexico and then Arkansas before heading to Tennessee. From there we would land in Nashville, where I would drive the remaining way to Myersville.

I was so nervous and everyone around me seemed so calm. I looked around the plane. The other passengers around me were quiet; trying to fight off bouts of sleep. It was just approaching ten o’ clock and there was about two and a half hours left. I was just ready to get there. I constantly had to fight the urge not to run up to the cockpit and demand that the pilots go faster. I frowned at the thought. That would only result in me embarrassing myself or possibly getting us all killed. Not the risk I wanted to take, especially under these circumstances.

I focused my attention back to where I was. I was sitting between an old fat guy and a woman with a whiny (now asleep) baby. Ironic right?

I admit it was kind of sweet to watch the woman with her baby, sans the old man snoring to the left of me. They both looked so content and it reminded me of the way my mother was with me and so forth. Just seeing the two of them together made me reflect back to my childhood days.

My family and I had lived in my grandfather's childhood home. He had lived there all his life after his parents had died. My grandfather was known for being the town's milk man and horse instructor and trainer. Almost all of my fondest memories were of him.

 Harold Anthony Swan was born August 10 of 1941 to Italian parents who had emigrated from Tuscany. He had worked under my great grandparents who had also run the ranch for nearly 30 years before.

He had met my grandmother Georgia when they were just both five years old. She was the love of his life and he of hers. Less than a year after they were married at eighteen, they welcomed my aunt Annabelle Joy. The next year she bore my uncles; the twins, Marcus and Harold Jr. (Junior for short).  Two years later, my aunt Marty was born and soon there little family was complete.

Much to everyone’s surprise, five years later, my father Charlie was born. She suffered from a very difficult pregnancy and it took a toll on her health. Thus was the end of childbirth for them.

 A couple of years later she was helping my grandfather tend to the horses when she collapsed and fell into unconsciousness. An aneurysm they had told my grandfather, and that there was nothing they could do to save her. Her death was instant. He had fell into a deep bout of depression but soon recovered knowing that he had a family to take care of. My father would always tell me wouldn't be the man he was if it weren't for him.  To raise five kids alone by yourself was enough to run any man crazy.

When my dad left for college my grandfather became lonely and started helping around the town doing various jobs and tasks. He became quickly loved by everyone and that was where he acquired the nickname Poppy.

 My dad was visiting home one weekend, when my grandfather and dad were approached by a police officer. My aunt Annabelle and her husband were hit by a drunk driver and killed instantly. My grandfather and family had experienced loss once again. It was one thing to lose a child but to lose a grandchild as well. My aunt was seven months pregnant with a baby girl and all three of them had perished.

No child should ever die before their parent and my grandfather became sad for a time. He grieved for his daughter and sin in law but most importantly for the granddaughter he would never get to know.  Seeing my grandfather’s depressed state, most of my relatives moved back home with their respective others.

When my dad finally graduated from college, he returned home and that’s where he met my mother Renee. They fell in love, married, and after a few difficult tries became pregnant with me.

I was born Isabella Marie Swan in namesake of my aunt. The first and only girl of all seven of my cousins. To say my grandfather was ecstatic was in understatement. I can vaguely remember the day when my mom had showed me the video, that never made me take my grandfather for granted ever again and how much he truly loved me. I was six and I was mad at my grandfather for not letting me help him tend the horses. All my cousins were allowed to but I couldn’t because I was too small. I remember being extremely angry at him and telling him that I hated him.

Flashback….

"Mommy, I want to go play." I moaned, as my mother pulled me into the living room.

"Now, now Bella. You're going to sit in here for a while. How could you say such a horrible thing to your grandfather?" my mom asked.

"He never lets me do anything; he treats me like a baby." I pouted and she laughed.

"My silly Bee. Come sit on the couch, I want to show you something." she grinned.

"Mom!" I moaned.

"Please." She pushed, walking over and putting a tape into the VCR.

"Mom really" I huffed. "Just watch." she laughed as she went into the kitchen to wash dishes.

I nonchalantly glanced at screen in discontent. The screen was of a hospital room where my mother lay in bed tired, but with obvious joy in her eyes as my father sat next to her with a heartwarming smile on his face.

The screen suddenly shifted and I saw that it was my grandfather sitting in a chair with a small bundle in his arms, which I figured to be me. I could hear my uncle Marcus’s voice in the background so I figured he was the one holding the camera.

"Come on sweet girl. Open them eyes for Poppy." he cooed at me. Until that moment my eyes hadn't changed color and still had a slight blue hue when he first saw me. I slowly opened my eyes and gazed up at him and he smiled down at me. I was looking at him curiously when he burst out in laughter.

"My god, Charlie, Renee! She has their eyes. Such beautiful brown eyes." he laughed, which was true. I indeed had my grandmother's and aunts brown eyes. Strangely enough my father had inherited my grandfather's blue eyes respectively while my mother had green. To say that this was a strange occurrence was beyond me.  My aunt and uncles had blue eyes, not even my cousins managed to inherit them besides my aunt Annabelle.

I gazed back at the television screen and looked over at my infant self. I gazed back up at the man before me; wrinkles crinkled at the eyes and mouth, with a grey wispy mustache and beard. He brushed his callused fingers against my cheek as I grabbed one of his fingers with my small hand. He laughed and I grinned my first toothless grin at him. The camera zoomed in onto his face as he looked back down at me.

"Our sweet Bella." Our beautiful little girl. "You just don't know how much we love you." he cooed kissing my cheek snuggling me into his arms.

From that day on I knew a bond had ensued between the two of us. I was the granddaughter and daughter he lost, the spinning image of my grandmother and aunt as they constantly told me. I had become a part of something that made his life worth living. The screen flickered but I could remember the last words at the end of the video.

"My sweet Isabella, I love you so much and let no one tell you otherwise." The screen faded to just a flicker of black and white static. Tears beginning to build up in my eyes, I ran out the front door in search of him. He was brushing the one of the horse's coats with my cousin Demetri when I saw him.

"Poppy!" I screamed as I ran towards him, nearly tackling him whilst I grasped a hold of his leg, the only part I could reach of his 6'3 frame. He picked me up and settled me onto his hip. I grasped my hands around his neck.

"What's this all about?" He laughed as he tried to release my death grip on him.

"I'm sorry. I could never hate you. I love you so much." I cried. His chest shook with rambunctious laughter.

"Oh I know my silly Honey Bee. I love you too." he smiled kissing my forehead.

End Flashback….

Smiling to myself, I was pulled from my thoughts when the flight attendant asked me if I wanted a drink. My stomach was still in knots, so I settled for a soft ginger ale. I let my mind wander back to another fond memory of mine as I remembered making my first set of friends.

Flashback…

I was nine and I walking down the long road walking Buttons; my grandfather's basset hound. I had named him Buttons because he had some strange infatuation with chewing buttons off of clothing. It was a hot summer day, and I was gazing out at the familiar scenery; cows grazing in the fields, the subtle but sweet scent of honey in the air.

 I noticed Buttons was nowhere to be found. For such a small dog he was really quick and disappeared easily.

"Buttons…Buttons!" I hollered, searching frantically for him. I heard laughter coming from the clearing by the lake. I strained my eyes to see two families enjoying a picnic and my dog tugging onto a boy’s shirt, trying to grasp a button off the boy’s shirt with his tiny teeth. The boy had reddish brown colored hair and his eyes were framed by glasses. He was laughing hysterically and his friends looked on amusedly while the parents looked on with worried gazes.

"Buttons, stop that this instant." I hollered. Buttons jumped off the boys lap and ran to me, his tail wagging eagerly in excitement. The family looked at me curiously as I slowly approached them to mumble an apology. They all stood to greet me.

"Sorry about Buttons." I said sheepishly. "He just loves people."

"It's okay; this little dog made our day." A short blonde haired girl said who looked about my age.

"I'm Alice Cullen, and this is my brother Edward. These are our friends Rosalie and Jasper." she smiled.

"Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella." I waved the four adults looked at me curiously.

"You're Harold Swan's granddaughter?" the blond haired man asked.

"Yep, that's my Poppy." I beamed.

"Well I'll be." The reddish haired woman said.

"Am I missing something?" I asked confusedly.

"Oh sorry, let me introduce ourselves. I'm Esme Cullen and this is my husband Carlisle and these are our friends Charlotte Hale and her husband Matthew." she smiled.

"Hello." I timidly waved.

"We grew up with your dad and your aunts and uncles. How are they by the way?" Mrs. Hale asked.

"Um my dad's okay. My aunt Annabelle died a while back. I'm named for her." I said looking at the ground. It was awkward talking about someone you didn't know. From what I was told I was just like her, quiet and a major bookworm.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that." Mr. Hale said apologetically. Suddenly I heard a trilling bell chime pierce the air that signaled that it was time for lunch and that I had to return home.

"Um, I'm sorry I must be going. The bell just rang and it’s time for lunch. My parents and my Poppy are probably wondering where I am.

"Do you mind if we come?" I would love to catch up with Charlie and your grandfather." Mr. Cullen asked. I eyed them warily. Rule number one that my Poppy told me: Never go off with strangers no matter what.

"Sure but we must hurry." I answered carefully. Seeing my uneasiness, the reddish haired woman spoke up.

"Okay. Kids how about you and Bella walk ahead of us, and we will meet you there. Are you guys still living at the ranch?" she asked and I nodded my head. They began packing up and I lead the other back up the old dust road. We walked in awkward silence until Alice spoke up.

"Bella I have a feeling, we're going to be the best of friends." she squealed.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"Trust, she knows these things." the boy said who I figured was Edward. I noticed his eyes were a pretty grass green. He was smiling at me amusedly.

"So you guys just moved here?" I asked.

"Yeah our parents grew up here and decided to move back.” Edward smiled at me.

"Well you're no stranger to Myersville then." I laughed.

"Yeah. Our mom is an interior designer while our dad is the hospital's new doctor.

"Well good, your dad's is going to be seeing a lot of me then." they looked at me confused.

"I'm exceptionally clumsy." I answered, and to prove my point I tripped over air, sending me crashing into Edward. They all laughed

"See what I mean?" I winced, helping Edward up. He came out unscathed, but I had a lovely scrape on my elbow.

"Just peachy!" I mumbled under my breath as we continued walking.

"So are you guys ready for school?" I asked Rosalie, she was relatively quiet the duration of our walk.

"Sort of. Jasper, Rose, and I are going to be in the fourth grade while Edward is going to be in the third grade. He’s the baby." she responded.

"Me too." I said and Edward high fived my hand." I’m glad. I'll have someone to talk to." He beamed. We quickly arrived to the ranch and they looked at me astonished.

"You live here?" They all said. I laughed and nodded my head. Moments after we got to the porch the Cullen’s and Hales pulled up in their respective cars.

"Honey Bee where are you" I heard my grandfather call.

"Poppy!" I hollered. He came out from inside the house and stopped in the doorway. His gaze fell on me.

"My dear Bella what have you done?" he asked, looking at my elbow.

"Nothing new Poppy. Look I brought some new friends." I pointed out.

"Well if it isn't the lost boys and the sugar babes." he said. “Carlisle my boy and dear old Mattie boy." He grinned hugging them before kissing Esme and Charlotte on the cheek. While he called mom and dad out to talk, I grabbed the five of us some popsicles, before settling outside under the tree while we rambled on about countless things.

I soon realized I had a lot in common with all of them and was relieved to find out they lived next door to each other just down the road. We became fast friends and did numerous activities together. Soon my grandfather had taken a liking to them calling them his other grandchildren, meaning that he would never miss a birthday or school event. I could back handily say that, that summer was the best time of my life.

End Flashback…..

They were my friends ever since…well until I left junior year. I had missed them and wondered if they still lived there. I felt guilty. When I left, I had no intentions of ever looking back. I admit I have no regrets when it came to my job and the life it provided for me, but I did regret not staying in touch with them and my family.

 I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew the flight attendant was shaking me awake. "Sorry miss, but we're about to land." she smiled before moving to awake another sleeping passenger. I rolled my neck from side to side to ease the tense nerves that seemed to strain every time I moved.

Securing my seat belt I settled in my seat bracing myself for landing, saying a silent prayer as the wheels touched the ground.

Worth the Fight: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In fear every day, every evening,
He calls her aloud from above,
Carefully watched for a reason,
Painstaking devotion and love,

Surrendered to self-preservation,
From others who care for themselves.
A blindness that touches perfection,
But hurts just like anything else.

-Isolation, Joy Division

Sunshine, rainbows, sugar, and all that shit.

Things I try to imagine, in hope that’s they wouldn’t bring back the painful memories.

It didn’t work.

Last night was rough. After Phil rocked me to sleep, the nightmares plagued me once more.

It was the same dream that taunted me for the past three months.

The dream always started off pitch black as if I were in a long dark tunnel. My feet would mindlessly carry me towards the end of the tunnel in which at the end of it was a door.

The door would silently open and I would suddenly find myself on the opposite side and the door would abruptly close behind me.

The darkness would begin to gradually recede and I would see blood staining the walls and the floor.

I would follow the blood trail up the stairs and that’s where I would see them.  Two bodies lying carelessly across the floor; blood matter and tears scattered across the floor. The darkness would come in flashes and that’s when I would notice her in the corner.

She looked catatonic; her eyes were trained on nothing and tears would stream down her face, her body shaking with her sobs.

I would try to reach out to her, but halted with my steps when I see the gun perched in her hands.

Still staring at nothing, she would quietly lift the gun to her temple. I would scream and beg for to stop. And just as she would pull the trigger, I would wake up.

Lovely right?

I was sore from last night’s crying jag. I could feel the dried tears on my face and my mouth tasted like something died. I figured Phil had carried me to bed, because I was still dressed in last night’s clothing. The room was pitch black despite the clock in my room reading that it was after one in the afternoon. I could hear the hard pitter patter of rain against the window and I somehow found it soothing once more.

I sat up in bed. My muscles ached and protested as I stretched. This wasn’t anything new to me. I was used to the pain by now. I grudgingly got out of bed and headed into the bathroom.

I grimaced at the picture in front of me. The dark circles under my eyes seemed even more prominent. My already pale skin appeared to be almost translucent and my once lively milk chocolate colored eyes, were now a dark lifeless sullen color.

I rolled up my sleeves and saw the faint lines of the three scars that lined my arm. They were faint and I hoped that Phil didn’t notice them while he lulled me to sleep. That would just add another problem to the long list of my other preexisting problems.

Deciding to take a shower, I grabbed my toiletries and change of clothes before heading back into the bathroom. After quickly showering and getting dressed, I tamed the mass of curls on my head and threw it into a sloppy ponytail.  I quickly threw on a pair of comfy socks and headed downstairs.

Phil was nowhere to be found. I had probably scared him off anyways. My stomach growled viciously in want. I looked around the kitchen. It was a typical bachelor’s pad, but I was surprised to see that there was no food lying around. Even the refrigerator was bare. I managed to scavenge one lone apple and sat down at the kitchen table.

Attached to a lone can of beer was a note from Phil.

Kiddo, had to run a few errands and head to the store. Be back soon -Uncle P

I settled the note back down on the table. Who knows how long he had been gone.  Phil must have been glad to get away, probably raving to his friends how crazy his niece was. I mean Phil wasn’t a bad guy and he seemed to truly care about me, but he reminded me so much of my mom.

He had her eyes, her vivacity for life; even being in the same room as this man was enough to sometimes drive me to tears. Phil also reminded me a bit of my father. His sometimes shy demeanor and he faintly smelled of leather and cigarettes.

I looked out the window. The once pounding rain was beginning to let up, leaving the sky a weird mix of blue, grey, and yellow as the sun tried to peer through. The rain eventually stopped, leaving a wet wonderland in its wake.

I wanted to go outside; tired of being shuttered up inside, but fear of being spotted and forced to engage in conversation often stopped me.  They knew I was here, but in a small town, news traveled fast and I just wasn’t ready to reveal my story just yet.

I could just see the headline now, Alert: Niece of famed coach Phil Dwyer is a depressed psychopath and murderer. Read all about it!

That would definitely garner some much unwanted attention.

Tired of sitting there bored, I discarded my apple core in the trash can and decided to make myself busy. There were a few pizza boxes lying around and a few beers cans. I quickly threw them away and began cleaning around the house. When I had finished, I had managed to kill an hour and a half, but I was still bored.

The silence was deafening and I hated it. I used noise as a distraction and when it was quiet, it usually left me alone to my thoughts, and sometimes, just sometimes, my thoughts often scared me.

I ached for the rain to start again, aiding me as a silent, but comforting companion once more. I headed into the living room and settled down on the couch. I tried watching television, but I eventually found it pointless and irritating. I quickly shut it off and laid my head against the back of the couch.

I was just about to close my eyes and hope for sleep when I noticed the bag of books Phil had purchased for me on the table.

I cautiously picked the bag up and wondered what Phil had gotten me. He didn’t know what I liked and I was surprised to find that when I open the contents he had purchased five books from some of my favorite authors including Bronte, Mary Shelly, and Lewis Carroll. Phil even purchased me a dark blue bookmark with a small jeweled B on the end of string.

I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I wiped at them furiously as they tried to fall. I was so tired of crying, but nothing I ever said or did could ever stop me. Once I made sure that no more tears would fall, I opened one of the books and engulfed myself into the world of the author’s imagination and thoughts.

 ……

I was just halfway through one of the books when I heard the front door open.

“Bells?” I cringed at the usage of my old nickname. I bookmarked my page and settled it on the table before heading into the kitchen. Phil was settling down various bags across the table and floor. There were so many bags that it appeared that he had bought out the whole store.

“There you are.” Phil grinned kissing my forehead. I tried not to cringe at his affection.  By now I had quickly learned that affection led to problems, problems led to lies, and lies ended getting you six feet underground.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Fine. Do you need help putting the bags away?” I gestured. He nodded his head. Most of the bags were from the local grocer while a couple of them were from a store I couldn’t pinpoint, but it was obviously equipped for females needs. I looked at him curiously.

“Oh, um, you know since you didn’t come with much, I figured I would grab a few things.” He blushed. I looked into the  first bag.

A couple of bottles of lotion, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. He had also purchased me a hairbrush, a comb, a few bottles of nail polish and remover. Not bad. I looked into the other bag and felt my face flush.

Inside the other bag was a pack of tampons and another of pads. A box of Midol lay on top with a small bag of chocolate kisses settled beside it. I looked up to see that Phil was blushing as well.

Well at least that was one trait we both shared. He gave me a sheepish grin.

“Uh, I didn’t know which you preferred, so I asked the female salesclerk and there were so many and I…” I raised my hand to stop him.

“It’s okay.’ I mumble quietly. Phil nodded his head and we continued putting the bags away. There was just so many. I was looking at the various assortments of meats he bought when he spoke up.

“I didn’t know what you preferred, so I got a little bit of everything.” He mumbled. You got that right. We basically had our own mini grocery store.

“I mean Renée told me you weren’t a picky eater, so I assumed, but wait, you’re not a vegetarian are you?” Phil rambled.

“Because if you are, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think to ask.” He rambled, muttering stupid under his breath. My face broke out in a small sad smile.

“No I’m not a vegetarian, although I do sometimes prefer to eat vegetables over meat.” I answered and he let out a small breath of relief.

“Well that’s good.  I pretty much got anything and everything in the store since I didn’t know what you preferred.  I got sodas, juice, chips, candy, you name it. Pretty much everything to the teenager’s delight.” Phil grinned. I looked around. A few bags were still on the floor. I sighed. At least I didn’t have to worry about starving anytime soon.

“Just so you know, I’m not really the best of a cook. There’s a reason why I live off of pizza and beer; there’s nothing else I can make, sans the occasional sandwich and hot dog. Not the healthiest choice, but it’s the best I got to offer.” Phil said conversationally. I rolled my eyes. Typical man.

I looked at Phil curiously. He seemed so calm after comforting me last night and I wondered when his little façade was going to wither. I knew he had questions about what really happened and only I had those answers that the police could never give him. He looked so carefree and happy and figured I would contribute a little to his conversation.

“Well lucky for you, I know how to cook.”

“That’s great, because at the rate I’m going, I really can’t afford to pack on the pounds.” Phil laughed patting his stomach. “What do you want to eat tonight?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment.

“How about lasagna?” I asked. His eyes widened.

“You can make that?” I nodded m head again. “Be my guest.” He smiled and gestured to the gas stove behind him that looked too clean to have been ever used.

I began gathering the necessary ingredients and Phil headed into the living room to watch some television.

I had just set the lasagna into the oven for the next half hour and planned going upstairs into ‘my room’ when Phil called my name. I turned around slowly.  Phil was watching some crime scene drama and the woman on the screen had just killed her daughter before killing herself. I felt myself blanch and turn pale. Seeing my line of vision, he quickly turned off the television, and laid his hands on his lap.

“I wanted to speak with you about something?” It came out more as a question and my breath halted in its step as I wondered what he wanted to speak with me about. I didn’t have to wonder far. I figured he wanted to ask about last night’s activities.  I just knew it.

“Yeah?” he paused, linking his fingers together.

“How do you feel about attending school?” He asked and I let out the breath I had been holding.

“School?” I breathed.

“Yeah I figured we would go down to the school tomorrow and get you signed up. But that’s only if you want to. I won’t force you though.” He rambled.

I thought about it for a moment. I wouldn’t mind going back to school. It would keep my mind busy so my thoughts wouldn’t linger. I was already ahead at my old school so I knew the past three months of missed work really wouldn’t affect anything. The only thing I feared was that my classmates would wonder why I was actually here. I was pulled from my thoughts by Phil’s voice.

“Bella,” He whispered. “They don’t know anything and you don’t have to tell them anything if you don’t want to. The most they know is that your parents died and that I am your guardian. That is all. They won’t judge you unless you want them to.” He continued. I sighed.

“Okay. I’ll think about it. I going to head upstairs for a bit.” I said, heading  towards the stairs.

“Bella,” Phil whispered again, I turned around and noticed his ice blue eyes were slightly teary.

“You know you can  come to me for anything right?” I nodded my head hesitantly.
“And you know I’m here to listen.” I hesitated.

“ I will always be here to listen. Understand?” I looked down at the floor.

“Understand?” he said again, a little more forcefully.  His eyes were even more glazed over. I nodded my head.

“I understand.” I whispered, my voice nearly cracking at the end, nearly tripping up the stairs as my feet pounded up them. I ran into my room and sunk down to the floor.

He was so nice to me and I didn’t deserve it. I knew he wanted to listen. I knew he wanted to know, but I couldn’t. He would hate me afterwards, I just knew.

 I was ashamed of my actions that led to my downfall. My thoughts and memory continued to plague me constantly and I knew it was only a matter of time before the truth came out.

 I just hoped that when they did resurface, I didn’t bring Phil down with me.

Mother I tried please believe me;
I'm doing the best that I can.
I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through,
I'm ashamed of the person I am.

American Honey Chapter 1

Prologue

She grew up on a side of the road

Where the church bells ring and strong love grows

She grew up good

She grew up slow

Like American honey

Steady as a preacher

Free as a weed

Couldn't wait to get goin

'But wasn't quite ready to leave

So innocent, pure and sweet

American honey

There's a wild, wild whisper

Blowin' in the wind

Callin' out my name like a long lost friend

Oh I miss those days as the years go by

Oh nothing's sweeter than summertime

And American honey

Get caught in the race

Of this crazy life

Tryin' to be everything can make you lose your mind

I just wanna go back in time

To American honey, yea

There's a wild, wild whisper

Blowin' in the wind

Callin' out my name like a long lost friend

Oh I miss those days as the years go by

Oh nothing's sweeter than summertime

And American honey

Gone for so long now

I gotta get back to her somehow

To American honey

Ooh There's a wild, wild whisper

Blowin' in the wind

Callin' out my name like a long lost friend

Oh I miss those days as the years go by

Oh nothin's sweeter than summertime

And American honey

And American honey

American Honey- Lady Antebellum

Chapter 1

"Bree did you send in the spread for the Gruel account" I asked my assistant as she stepped into my office.

"Yes Ms. Swan." she answered. I rolled my eyes.

"Bree, how many times must I tell you to call me Bella?" I moaned. Bree was ten years older than me and yet she still felt the need to call me ‘Miss Swan’. She looked at me sheepishly. I took her silence as a sign for me to continue.

"How about this, why don't you just leave? Everyone's gone, and it's summer time." I smiled at her.

"I don't know." she said hesitantly.

"Bree go." I pushed. She was really sweet and a hard worker; she needed the break.

"Are you sure? I'll feel like I'm useless." She responded. I shook my head.

"Well to ease your worries how about you type up that report for me and then you're free to go."

"Thanks Ms. Sw-…" she stopped when I glared at her.

"I mean Bella." she said and I laughed, waving her out.

She closed the door behind her. I slid down in my seat resting my legs on the desk. I was tired, and my feet ached from my 4 inch death traps. It felt like I was working for hours on end when in reality it was just two in the afternoon, but it was all worth it. At age 28, I had done a tremendous amount of work to get to the top.

It all started with my mom's decision to leave Tennessee when I was seventeen. We lived in a small town called Myersville. Myersville was located in the smack dab of nowhere and was home to a measly population of 3,145 citizens where everyone knew everybody and everything. I spent those years of my life there with my parents, friends, and grandfather.

My dad had been killed the year before in the line of fire. That left me, my mom and my grandfather; "Poppy" as everyone called him all alone. Once my dad died, I looked to Poppy as my second father. He was one of the most important men in my life. Of course my mom saw this as the perfect opportunity to leave Myersville, especially in the midst of my junior year. Having no choice but to leave, we moved to Los Angeles leaving my friends, extended family, and my beloved Poppy behind.

At first, I was angry at my mother for making us leave, but I couldn't regret it because I wouldn't be where I am, if it weren't for her decision. The only thing I do regret was not visiting my Poppy and my friends. I hadn't seen any of them since I left those years ago and I terribly missed them all. I had all the opportunity in the world to visit them, but life always ended up getting in the way.

Even my mom moved back after a few years of coercing, but I was too stubborn to leave my new home.

As soon as I had graduated college, I started applying for jobs that were looking for editors.

The first year was the hardest. I sent résumés to countless places which usually ended with the same results.

 "I'm sorry; you're just not what we're looking for." I couldn't blame them either. I was 21, young, naïve, and plain. I had brown hair, brown eyes and a thick southern accent. To them I was just some southerner, who was trying to make it big in the city. I was gladly ready to throw in the towel and relent to going home and that was when I met Galen.

Galen was my knight in shining honor with his sun kissed skin and hazel eyes. I had met him in a coffee shop one day filling in yet another application when he approached me. He worked as a photographer for Vogue magazine and told me that they were looking for an assistant to work under their current editor. I jumped at the opportunity and was able to intern until I got the job. I was so happy that I got the job that Galen actually had to go to the emergency room, because I had bruised his ribs from hugging him so hard. The first couple of months were rough, but soon working at Vogue became one of the best things to happen to me in my life. Working at Vogue though, had to come at a price. I had to change myself in the process. With the help of Galen and my co-workers, I was introduced to designer clothing, highlights, heels and I managed to mask my southern accent.

Galen and I had been dating for a while, and I was convinced that he was going to propose any day now. After working five years at Vogue, I found out the current editor was retiring and had offered me the job to take her place. I still wasn’t the senior editor, but I at least I would get my own floor and assistant. I eagerly accepted the job and rushed home to tell Galen the good news.

I nearly killed myself in my haste to get home. I bounded up the numerous stairs to our apartment and opened the door. I called out his name numerous times, but he didn’t answer. That’s when I heard the soft moaning coming from our bedroom.

Galen had claimed to be under the weather lately and being the naïve person that I am, feared he was moaning in pain. Opening the door and fearing the worst, there lay Galen in our bed not moaning from agony, but in sheer pleasure with another man. To say I was shocked was the understatement of the century. After nearly 5 years of being together, he cheats on me with a man. I mean I have nothing against homosexuality, but when your so called love of your life cheats on you with a man, it’s a hit to a girl’s self-esteem.

Let's just say that day ended with me having a migraine the size of Texas, and trying to fight the urge not to go Lorena Bobbitt on his ass. I quickly left and over the next few days, had to slowly build back up my confidence.

It took me a while to build myself up and I honestly thought I was fine until I had a mini breakdown and started wondering if I was good enough for any man.

 That was three years ago, and long story short I don't date. I knew I wasn't ugly, but that made me choosy when it came to guys, wondering if they only wanted me because the thought I looked good, or if they actually cared for my personality.

I was at a dry spell, and as much as I hate to admit it, I loved sex, and not having it for a while had definitely made me a prude. I could go out a pick up any prick, but I was not that girl. I was constantly agitated and there were only a few people in the office that I could tolerate; Bree being one of them. These were one of the moments when I wished I were back in Myersville.

I had just laid my head against my arms when I heard my door open and Bree's head pop in.

"Bella, I finished the report." Bree said timidly.

"Thank you so much. Now go get off your feet. Go tell that husband of yours I say hello and give your son a big sloppy kiss from his Auntie Bella." I grinned.

"Thank you. By the way, someone left a message for you. They said it was urgent and when I asked what the issue was, they claimed it was a private matter. The woman left a message for you. "Bree rendered, before waving goodbye.

"I’ll get to it. Enjoy your weekend." I smiled genuinely at her. Curiosity bubbled in my stomach and panic ushered itself into my head. What was wrong? Was it my mom? I hadn’t talked to my mom in a while and she would just call my cell phone if it was important. She was currently on one of her spontaneous trips to Jacksonville, doing god knows what. She was definitely flighty, but I loved the woman.

Taking a deep breath, I hit play on my answering machine and laid my head back down against my arms.

"I really hope I am talking to the right Bella Swan, I don't know…. I might be silly for even trying, but you may not remember me. I'm Esme Cullen: Alice, Edward, and Emmett's mother. I couldn't reach anyone and this was the only listing I could find, I'm sorry for interrupting you at your job….. I'm sorry I'm rambling, but your grandfather suffered a heart attack this morning. Your mother would have called herself, but she’s a little out of it right now and trying to find a way to get back down here. Um, he’s in critical condition and right now we don't know what's happening. I just thought you should know. I mean this is probably not even you… Just please Honey Bee...” she mumbled before hanging up.

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and the ringing in my ears amplified as I tried to even out my breathing. The old nickname he would call me seemed to echo off the walls. It just made it seem even more real.

 My Poppy had suffered a heart attack. The joyous, boisterous man that was a second father to me was probably in agony and scared in the darkness of his mind. I wasn't even aware of the tears free falling down my face until I felt something wet splash against the report Bree had typed up.

I sat there for a few more minutes trying to get myself together, when I saw a text from my mother pop up on my phone.

Get your but back to Myersville Bee. B back as soon as I can find a flight. Luv you!-Mom

I sighed. Her text had only solidified my exact thoughts. I had to go back home.

Hurrying up to find my laptop, I quickly searched various air times to see which flight would get me there faster. Luckily a plane left in hour and I realized I had no time to pack. Booking the last seat they had left, I grabbed my phone and messenger bag before locking up. Luckily I had all my credit cards on me and at least 500 dollars in cash.

Rushing out the door, I headed to my car and broke probably every traffic law to man. Soon, I arrived at the airport and jumped out of my car, not even bothering to check it in. I could have cared less if it was towed or not.

Bumping along passengers along the way, I managed to make it as soon as they were about close the doors. Entirely out of breath, I managed to make it to my seat before I collapsed.

The other passengers were looking at me like I was crazy. Heck, I probably looked the part.

My bun had come out of its twist; my wavy tresses halfway falling down my back. My heels felt like the were embedded to the back of my ankles, and even my black penciled skirt suddenly felt too tight and hot for me to wear. The flight was to be at least seven and a half hours since we had two connections and I anxiously waited till we took off and landed. All I could think of was my Poppy and hoped that he was okay. Tonight at 10 o clock and after eleven years of being away, I would be returning to the one place I thought I left and the people I once knew and loved.  I just hoped that this trip was worth it.